Wednesday, May 21, 2008

The Tantrum

I'm always full of rage. I wasn't aware of this until some people called me 'garang'(fierce) few times. It's only then I know that often, certain gestures and words from me were construed as fiercy.

A good friend told me before, that if I were to be a lecturer or teacher, my students would be really afraid of me. Even a tiny mistake would deserve a spank. Some might even begging for more.

There was this time I told my friends that I called up Astro customer services.

Clawed-red-eyed hideous monster: I.want.my.subtitles.back.

Sweet-lollipop-condensed-milk Agent: The subtitle is there Sir.

Clawed-red-eyed hideous monster: The.English.subtitles. I want it back. It was there before but suddenly vanished. Poof. Gone into the air. Volatile. Smooching with the angels up there I believe.

Sweet-lollipop-condensed-milk Agent: *Shivering* Hold on Sir. Let me check it out for you.

At this point, I think the poor agent went to the nearest TV to check the subtitle.

Sweet-lollipop-condensed-milk Agent: There's no English subtitle for that program Sir, only Bahasa subtitles.

Clawed-red-eyed hideous monster: That's what I've been telling you earlier. The English subtitle wasn't there anymore. It WAS there before.

He keeps telling me there was never English subtitle and of course I keep telling him what I saw and believed. If it's not English subtitles I saw before, then what was it? Hebrew? You telling me I'm schizophrenic now? Well of course I didn't tell him this. I'm not that sarcastic! Yeah right...

Until he said,

Sweet-lollipop-condensed-milk Agent: I think I better check with the technical people and ask them to get the subtitles back for you.

Clawed-red-eyed hideous monster: When will I get my subtitles back?

Sweet-lollipop-condensed-milk Agent: In half-an-hour time Sir.

Well of course I know it's just a bloody fake pacifying assurance but I don't want to waste my time being an arse making him cry and shit in his pants in front of his colleagues. I've already missed some parts of the program while making this call and it will be over in less than half-an-hour. I bet if I were to make another call and requested to talk to the same agent, they might have said he's gone to Rwanda for good. So much I don't want to let him off the hook, I don't want to miss the program and having to wait for the repeat either. I just hate to wait. I let him off. He's doing fine now I believe.

And to my despair, my friends called me 'garang' for this.

I mean, come on, I paid my bill every month and I deserve services worth every cent I spent. I'm sure everyone agree on this.

What's the point of spending your money on shoddy services?

Well sometimes, people need to be 'garang' to get what they deserved.

But I never got my bloody subtitles back!

posted by androi8 at 6:17 pm 4 comments

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

The Dreams

Oh my god. I had two weird dreams last night. I think I tend to have weird dreams when I'm not feeling well.

It's unusual though that I can recall them.

The first one was a reptile affair. I managed to get a chameleon as an addition to my iguana! And it was a fat one! Hehe. It tried to run away at first but I managed to get hold of it and calmed it down.

The second one was more like a national affair. I was in the parliament house and I witnessed a number of the ruling party's MPs standing up, stepping on the desk and crossing over to the other side. I saw Rafidah but she just sit and looking at what is going on that time. Suddenly, Dr Mashitah was standing on my left. I asked her who's her researcher. She told me it's someone from her university and left me upset.

I believe the first one occurred because of my excitement to get one more reptile for myself. Not a chameleon though.

The second dream occurred probably because of too much Malaysia Today in my daily readings.

And I'm not complaining if it really happen anyway.

posted by androi8 at 10:11 pm 4 comments

Sunday, May 11, 2008

The Conundrum

Oh I've stopped smoking for almost 3 months now. It's not hard to stop when the doctor adviced you to because it's one of the contributing factor of your gastritis.

I fucking hate the recurring pain in my stomach.

So I stop sucking smoke.

This headstrong leftist monster finally heeds the doctor's advice. Cold turkey. Yes people, I literally stopped when she told me,"Adek, you have to stop smoking, drinking". And yes she called me adek.(For the benefit of my 'offshore' readers, adek=little brother). Whatever.

I stopped not because she called me adek. Or because the doctor is a lady, as suggested by one of my officemates who had no qualms asking me when I'm going to get married almost every fucking day. What made her think that I only listen to female doctors? Honestly, I'd heed a doctor's advice no matter what his/her sex or sexual orientation. Even if the doctor is a lingerie sniffer. Or an every-hour wanker.

I mean, what's the point of seeing a doctor if you don't follow his/her advice? I can't deny the urge to have a fag, or two, or hundreds, is still there. It's always there. And will always be. It needs one's high determination and courage as big as, errr... Mount Kinabalu?(a tribute to my long-time Sabahan crush. Hehe).

Some ego helps too.

This is where you can put your ego to good use. For instance, when offered a cig, smile and politely say no(no affiliation whatsoever with the government's campaign however). When insisted(this situation normally occurs with your good friends), smile and politely show your middle fingers. Yes. Fingers. And that's some ego I tell you.

Well hey presto! Instead of the 'Say NO!' campaign, why not 'Show Fingers!' campaign?

How about that for a holistic change?

posted by androi8 at 1:29 pm 3 comments