The Degradation

I think it’s about time for me to crawl out slowly from this ‘straight colony’. Surrounded by straight people everyday makes me feel like I'm in a vegetative state. Listening to their straight stories everyday only widen the gap between me and them. They know that I’m different but they won’t understand. I have to make the move. Theeeeeee move. If you know what I mean. I’ve been living too long with them to know every nook and cranny of straight life. I cried my heart out last night when I realised I had no one to talk to. There’s no one I can trust now. My hag is just simply too busy. We’re not like before. She’s moved to Puchong. But she comes to see me whenever she can. Yeah, she has her own life too.

I was too worried thinking about what to wear this coming Convo that I had this dream. I went to this shop and found out that they don’t have the right size for the black ‘baju melayu’ I want! And worst of all, Fam(my arch-rival for the moment…) got a pair of lounge suit from Australia(I don’t know how the fuck he got it and don’t give a damn) and suddenly I was at the office of my housemate. In order to get in, we had to go through many doors and a sleeping security personnel. When we got through(his girl was with us too), we came upon a big room(doesn’t look like a workplace to me) where lots of clothes were hanging. I was fascinated by that place and tried to find suitable attire for me to go to that damn dinner. I found one (a long sleeves stripe shirt) and I saw my housemate’s girl sneaking hers into a large bag! I did the same! I’m not sure whether it’s shoplifting but heck, it’s not a shop, still, it’s a punishable crime. Hehe. Anyway, it’s just a dream. Fucking strangers in your dream without their consent is a crime too right? Right…

I had this, Long enough to know, What to do, And what to say, When it's creeping, With its sharp claws, To renew the bleeding.