The Lessons

Radiohead -High and Dry

It’s official. I started my drums class today. It’s awesome, it’s great. Everything went well. I’m happy. I just realised that I lack that feelings lately. This new interest made me otherwise. It’s like I had a new reason to live. It’s not that I’m thinking to end my life everyday. We all do think that way sometimes right? Don’t deny. So back to this new obsession, I learnt basic steps, numerous drums and cymbals names & musical notes! I mean, the last time I learnt all these notes was way back 15 years ago. My teacher is good too. He really taught me well. Totally unlike what I expected before. I thought he’ll not taking me seriously but instead, he taught me everything(well, maybe not everything) a beginner should know. At least that’s what I feel but most of his lessons would be littered with metal this & metal that. I’m not against metal or something but…ugh, fuck it. He’s good. He also asked me why I took up this class. I wish I could tell him the truth, but I did tell him half of it. I told him that I’ve been thinking about this a long time ago & my fellow straight friends just don’t have time to teach me. The other fucking half truth is, I was trying to search for something that might be able to distract me from thinking about this fucking guy who seems wouldn’t get out of my stupid mind forever. The drugs just didn’t work. Plus, hitting the drums is like one way for me to express my angst, hate and if YOU hear this, please don’t YOU take this away from me too. I’m starting to enjoying it. I’m trying to keep myself busy because every time I stopped doing anything, that’s when this fucking feelings slowly crawling and I’ll start shedding tears. Tears that I try to stop, tears that I try to swipe because of other reason. But it’s not.