The Birthday Girl

Keane-Bend and Break

I made a call home last night. It’s my sister’s birthday. She’s twelve. Happy birthday girl. I hope that there’s a brighter future for you. Better than me. She’d been through tough times. My parents divorced when she’s just ten I guess(I just guess because I don’t want to remember the date). Or maybe nine. I’m sorry because I couldn’t be that perfect brother. But I hope things will work out alright. Right now I can only hope. I’m doing my best here to put some shades of light into our life. I don’t know if she’s coping life well. She has this happy face and I don’t know how she feels inside. I hope she won't turned into a girl who hates everything and everyone like I do now. I don’t know how it feels when your parents divorced when you're still young because I’m old enough to cope all the shits at that time. Right now, I just want you to know I'm unable to improvise things. Shit. I just can't afford it, yet. I couldn’t turn ugly things into something that can be appreciated, be adored. I just couldn’t. I don’t know whether I should regretted my decision studying here. It’s been 5 years and I’m still here, heading nowhere. Couldn't made up my mind. Feel like blowing my head. I’m the most pathetic brother she ever had. I can only give you promises. I know she won't read this but this is exactly how I feel right now.